


straight crushin' (trying to play it cool)

by fourhorsemen



Series: Jason Todd: Public Embarrassment [1]
Category: DCU
Genre: Jason Todd Embarrasses Himself, Jason Todd Has a Crush, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourhorsemen/pseuds/fourhorsemen
Summary: Jason Todd: no thoughts, head empty, just Dick Grayson
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Jason Todd: Public Embarrassment [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010853
Comments: 18
Kudos: 143





	straight crushin' (trying to play it cool)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Wet Dreamz - J. Cole  
> Catch me using X-rated song for Gen rated fic, the irony pleases me.
> 
> No beta, I crave death

“ _Let me guess_ , Dick’s going to be Miss Congeniality here and go undercover. _Obviously_ ,” Jason scoffs with a roll of his eyes. The room descends into silence, and Jason stiffens as all eyes suddenly turn to him.

“Why obviously?” Tim asks, quietly and curiously. 

He has a very intent glint in his eyes that Jason doesn’t like the look of. It’s _that_ glint, the one that usually prefaces a Eureka moment - like all the puzzle pieces have been correctly oriented, and only one missing piece remains for it to all fall into place.

“I mean, it’s obviously going to be Dick. Who else?” Jason retorts quickly, starting to feel like he’s misstepped. 

Bruce’s eagle eyes are trained on him and even Damian is looking at him askance, like he knows something Jason doesn’t and doesn’t quite approve of it.

“Yes, but why do you view Dick as the _obvious_ choice?” it’s Bruce who asks, and that’s surprising to him. Jason snaps to look at the man so fast he hears a _pop_ in his neck. 

“Because he’s Dick!” Jason sputters, and looks around wild-eyed.

Everyone has an eerily knowing glint in their eyes that’s steadily driving him up the wall. He can _feel_ his hackles raise, he can feel the stiffness in his neck and shoulders that precedes an outburst, and he wants to get out of here before it happens. His eyes seek out the nearest exit, and Alfred, of all people, nonchalantly steps right in front of it. 

“Why not me? I’ve gone undercover before. As a woman, no less,” Tim asks pointedly.

He sounds more than a little put off at having to bring it up but he also looks strangely determined. Jason flounders for a response, he can feel the words jumbling up beneath his tongue and he looks desperately at Alfred.

Alfred smiles at him calmly but does not move. The frustration he feels brims to the surface, Jason feels his mouth open and he knows immediately that there’s no coming back from whatever drivel is going to spew from it.

“I mean, have you seen him? He’s got those big blue eyes, those curled, pretty eyelashes that _flutter_ when he blinks - ” Jason’s physically cringing now but he can’t seem to stop the words from leaving his mouth “ - and those cheekbones, you must be blind if you haven’t noticed that bone structure, those cheekbones could cut glass!” 

There are amused, exasperated, and disgusted looks cropping up on everyone else’s faces now -- take a wild guess as to who's sporting which emotion -- but it’s too late, the dam is open and Jason is heading straight down the waterfall. 

“And those cupid’s bow lips? I don’t know _what_ chapstick he uses but they’re always so soft and... plump! Downright _plush_. To top it all off he has that _Garnier Fructis_ hair that just sweeps down the side of his face, like he’s walked right out of a magazine, even though he barely takes a comb to it most days - 

\- and you’re telling me Dick isn’t your _obvious_ choice to go undercover as a runway model?” Jason practically shouts, and his voice echoes through the cave.

He heaves for breath and feels his skin go beet red from the reaction reel right in front of him. Tim is positively brimming with glee, his eyes have that manic glint that tells Jason he’s recorded the entire exchange and will not hesitate to blare said recording from surround-sound speakers the next time Dick and Jason are in the vicinity of each other. 

Bruce looks discomfited, exasperated and more than a little worried, like he’s going to have to sit down and re-evaluate every single mission he’s going to put Jason on from now on. Damian has a pinched, near-disgusted expression on his face that he’s making no effort to hide and he’s pink in the face from secondhand embarrassment. 

Finally, the kicker, the final nail on Jason’s coffin, is Alfred’s grandfatherly, indulgent smile. 

“I’m-” Jason begins and his throat clicks. Alfred silently moves aside from the exit. 

“I’m going to go now,” Jason says weakly, and then he sprints for the exit.


End file.
